I Don't Want Your Sympathy

I just want somewhere to vent. Seb is off his bosom again. Ten days this time. He fusses at the breast when he's tired so I let him in and he opens wide, gets near and then arches his back and cries. He has pain. He is miserable. I am heart broken.

He doesn't have thrush or any other source of discomfort or pain we can find so am putting it down to the bloody teeth again. Last time it was just four days. This time, everyday I feel a little further away from nursing him ever again.

The fact that he seems to want to nurse now and again makes me think this is not him self-weaning, as most babies do at some point, but there is a reason why he can't at the moment.

He's eleven months old so nutritionally he doesn't need the breastmilk*, he eats three meals a day with snacks inbetween, he eats a wide range of foods including meats, fish, dairy and vegetables.

But he is to be my last baby and I wanted this to go on a little longer, hoping for another year.

A bit of a sob to my peer-supporter supervisor on facebook over the weekend and by monday afternoon the infant feeding team had rallied round and managed to get a spare electric breast pump to my home. I had a good old double pump and for the first time in a week had the 'empty breast' feeling and was more comfortable than I had been for days. I am so grateful for working so closely with the infant feeding team as I fear had I gone down the 'contact your HV' route I'd have been fobbed off and advised to stop now. The pump will have to go back as soon as there is a mother physically unable to nurse her child but for now I'm plugging in a few times a day and stashing the white goodness in the fridge for when he wants it.

As I said, I didn't come for sympathy but just to share with other mothers who will understand my unhappiness. Simon is sympathetic but with Seb cruising round the furniture and scoffing avocado and toast for lunch and chilli and rice for tea he doesn't see why it's so important and maybe it's not really, am I just being selfish, is he ready to move on and I just can't let go?

I think there are many more tears to be shed in the coming weeks by both him and me through sheer frustration and sadness.

But while his prefered method of breastmilk delivery is this;


Then this will have to be my best friend;

* I do think that the WHO recommendation of two years is great (and have achieved it with two of my other children, the other self weaning slightly earlier) but I do wonder to myself whether it is the breastmilk that is of benefit or whether it's just that babies breastfed for longer never have artificial feeds? Something to think about.....

What Children Say

The lovely Becks wrote this very funny, heart warming post the other day about a conversation she had with her children in the car;

So we're in the car on the way home from work. Dad has popped into the shop, Heather is just waking and the boys are in the back. Heather decides she needs a quick nurse whilst we are waiting, she always wakes up grumpy and hates being in the car so it is the best way to cheer her up. Owen and Cain say they need a drink. Cain decides he wants milk, with a cheeky twinkle in his eye. Owen says he can't have milk because we have none in the car. And so the conversation continues:

Me - "where can we get milk from?"
Owen - "the shop"
Me - "which shop?"
Cain - "The food shop, in the fridge"
Me: "In the fridge?"
Cain - "yes in the fridge, in big jugs"
Me (glad the immediate demands for a drink are easing) - "So how does the milk get in the jug?"
Owen - "the shop lady put's it in"
Me - "but where does she get it from?"
Owen AND Cain together - "from her boobies!"

Now I'm all for promoting breastmilk, after all it's my job, but maybe that is taking things just a little too far........

Tickled me no end!

Thanks for letting me share Becks!

xxx

Mama Is....

I have just discovered Mama Is and really loved today's post and wanted to share.

And a quick thank you to everyone who has expressed concern and offered advice about my feeding issues with Seb. He's back on. Not like he used to be but enough for me to be happy and for him to be happy too. What more can a mother ask really? Thank you all. x

Birds Do It, Bees Do It,

even sheep in a field do it;

Let's do it, lets feed our young!

A fabulous day at the farm with my babies looking out for lactating mother animlas and their young and cheeky young sneaking a quick snack ;)

*I know technically neither birds or bees actually do it but the song was in my head!

Who Knows The WHO Code?

Firstly let me just point you in the direction of this article that has outraged some of the american bloggers I read but made me laugh and feel all smiley and thank Giselle for her bluntness!

I have learned lots of things I didn't previously know about breastmilk and artificial forms of infant feeding during my training and I learned alot about WHO's international Code which dictates alot of guidelines for the marketing and use of 'infant formula'. It is against the Code to advertise artificial 'milk' for babies under six months, which is why we suddenly have 'follow-on' milk when for centuries cow's, goat's or sheep milk has been a good enough and suitable suppliment to our children's diets. The can advertise these 'follow-on' 'milks' and then when parents go along the aisle they will be confronted with rows and rows of other artificial 'milks', side ways advertising!

It seems that lots of companies either choose to ignore the Code or are unaware of it, I made a complaint in Asda earlier in the week as they have SMA cartons on offer at 3 for £1 and tins of powdered SMA at 2 for £7. This is against the Code and shouldn't be allowed, there were complaints made in our local Sainsbury's last year too when they offered 33% off the price of tinned powder as part of their baby week. And then it was brought to my attention that in the Argos catalogue there is a "feeding pillow", the picture in the catalogue shows a woman bottlefeeding a baby with the cushion on her lap. Against the Code! The online image just shows a woman and baby though?

It does concern me that we are bombarded by images of artificial feeding as the norm. I am doing alot of antenatal work and I love the enthusiasm I am greeted with and the comitment to babies not yet born to give them the very best nutrition. But I want to cry when I have spent time with a Mum before birth and after and only a week in she gives up and chooses a bottle, it makes me sad that she believes she is giving her baby the 'next best thing to breastmilk' because that's what the advertising tells her when really there is no such thing. A bit of an exageration but I do feel very strongly about the damage artificial 'milks' do to our children, it's like saying that CO2 is the next best thing to clean air?!