This is a blog all about my adventures in Breastfeeding Peer Support. I want to share all the things I have learned and celebrate amazing breastfeeding Mothers and their babies.

I would like to share other peoples stories here too. Accounts of problems overcome, funny things your older children have said, strange places you have attached your baby and so on. Please email me with any stories you'd like to share with other breastfeeding Mothers. Please include what you'd like to be called (URLs ok or just a name), how old your baby was at the time and where abouts you are geographically.

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

And No One Died

I am no longer a breastfeeding mother.

There, I said it.

Phew, like admitting to being an alcoholic in terms of shame and guilt.

I have been pumping for between five and six hours everyday since the start of the summer. I have been distressed. I have tried (and tried) to get my smallest son back to the breast. I have failed.

Sebastian had his first birthday and I carried on pumping so he could have his Mummy Milk from a cup. I carried on until about a week ago when it was clear that he wasn't actually that bothered about it in a cup or any other way. Much as it hurt me and felt like I had failed in the most fundamental part of motherhood I knew it was the sensible thing to do.

And, you know what, no one died. The world didn't end. Nothing changed except that I became a happier Mummy and now have several more hours in the day for kisses and cuddles.!

It is the end of an era, I have spent all of the last decade either pregnant or breastfeeding, and alot of time doing both! But it's ok. I am ok. My babies are ok. They still love me best and we still have an amazing bond and our relationships continue to blossom and change as they grow.

I am now in the process of redefining myself. I am still Mummy and always will be (even when they are parents themselves) but am growing myself, my skills and goals.

I hope to share more with you very soon and be back with some less personal breastfeeding issues and information very soon.

Thanks to all of you for the support you have given me over these past few months.

xxx
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2 comments:

  1. My life with MND4 November 2010 at 02:44

    Hi. I had wondered what had happened regarding your situation, but I wasn't about to ask what was going on.

    I am sorry to hear your news, but hey, what a wonderful start you have given each of your children, and your sheer determination shows the strength of your character.

    Well, pretty much the same thing here. With a heavy heart I stopped breastfeeding last week, pretty much NOT the way it's recommeneded! Like totally stopped. But needs must, and all.

    Huge changes in our house over the past month - P is still unable to work and I have landed myself a job, so from next week, the roles will be reversed (eek!) and it was thought that it would be better if Bronte was just on cow's milk. She's taken to it pretty well as she would drink it some of the time anyway, and she seems happy enough. On a few occasions she has tried to feed. I think I still have milk in one side, but not the other....so I don't know how much longer that will stay in there.

    I feel bad, almost as though I am cheating her out of something that she wants, but then I have to look at the bigger picture and see that without my milk, she will still live....she will not starve and she will continue to thrive and grow.

    Although I did not feed B, I managed 16 months with M and nearly 15 months with Bronte so I must have been doing something right. This time, I've come through the wars of being stuck away from her, in Norway and through the nastiness of mastitis but hey, I lived to tell the tale, and my children are one of the few children I know who actually think breastfeeding is the NORM. So, I have learnt a lot, and I have achieved a lot.

    So have you. Don't forget it! Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx

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  2. Becks22 November 2010 at 19:16

    Hey - a year!
    You know what we say to our mums - you're amazing!
    So it wasn't the journey that you dreamed of, but it was a breastfeeding journey and one that continued for as long as it needed. You said it yourself SEBASTIAN was no longer demanding your milk. Yo gave him it as long as he demanded and that's what it's all about.
    Give yourself the praise and admiration you know you would give to any mum you supported who did half of what you've done.
    Much love and respect to you.
    xx

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